The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers On Becoming a Person (1961)
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When and why it was written
- When
- Published in 1961, from two decades of clinical practice.
- Why
- Rogers was accounting for something he kept seeing: clients changed after they stopped trying to.
What it means
Rogers calls it a paradox because it inverts the obvious order. Self-criticism looks like the engine of improvement.
What he observed clinically was the opposite. Effort spent defending against a trait keeps it in place, because the trait has to be maintained as the thing being fought. Acceptance is not approval here; it is putting the fight down long enough for movement to be possible.
Read the source
On Becoming a Person, 1961
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Your turn
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